DVDs vs IPAs By Mail
Netflix announced recently, via an apology to its subscribers (like myself), that it is splicing its movies-by-mail service and its video streaming service into two separate entities. No longer will Netflix send you the film of your choice via the postal service. Those DVDs will arrive from Qwikster.
Dumbest. Name. Ever.
Naming anything –Ster is the quickest, er, qwik-est, way to kill something. Who uses Friendster for their social mediating anymore? Who steals music from Napster anymore? I mean, even hamsters die super fast.
In the near future, when Netflix pulls the plug on Qwikster and cites DVDs as some sort of Jurassic technology that had to die so that it can focus on its streaming division (despite so few titles being available compared to those it offers on digital video disk), know that its failure actually sprang from the name, not the service. After all, wouldn’t you kill to subscribe to a service that sends you all the beers you want straight to your mailbox? Imagine avoiding a trip to the corner store for a six-pack of Firestone-Walker Union Jack IPA, or instantly receiving a hot new beer like Surley Darkness ’11 once it’s out, or enjoying vintage classics like New Albion Porter—all straight to your door (the fixed price thing wouldn’t exactly fly). Such a company would be a surefire hit. The only thing that could kill it is if they called it Brewster. Even female beer makers today are called brewers or brewmasters.
Now if only they could figure out a way to deliver fresh beer direct online, perhaps poured through your USB port.
Netbeer has a nice, lacy ring to it.