Ten Reasons Craft Beer Is Not Macho
Quien es mas macho? Not craft beer geeks, that’s for darn sure. Beer on the whole has developed a reputation as a blue-collar, hard-charging, manly-man drink. Testosterone on tap. Clearly mass-market beers and their mass marketing campaigns featuring the not-so-wide-gamut from tough (and most interesting) men to water-fountain catfighting hotties hype this image. But have you seen the craft beer crowd? Among the menfolk, beneath those grizzly tats and beards, they’re about as tough as a tea party just shy of pinkies jutted in the air. Let’s compile a list of ways in which the men of craft beer decidedly lack in machismo.
1. They record notes about each beer they’ve enjoyed in a notebook.
2. They revere monks. Monks who’ve taken a vow of chastity.
3. Macho beer comes in 18-pack suitcases. Craft beer increasingly comes in dainty 4-pack carriers.
4. Ever hear a BMC drinker talk about their industrial lager’s aroma let alone sit there for minutes as their beer warms up, their nose lingering by the rim?
5. Tulip glasses.
6. They sip, never chug. When’s the last time you saw a dude shotgunning Ten Fidy?
7. Crap beer comes out of wide-mouth cans or Vortex bottles. Craft beer comes out of a bunghole and we like it that way.
8. They display no temerity in ordering a fruit beer.
9. They use cellar as a verb.
10. Think “Hophead” sounds macho? Well, Deadheads wear tie dye and patchouli oil. Then came Phishheads, Jimmy Buffett’s Parrotheads, and even Rush Limbaugh has his Dittoheads. Besides, where’s the virility in brewer’s droop?
What do you think? Is craft beer actually on the manly side or does its grace keep it on the delicate side? What do you think makes it steer clear of Macho Country?