James Bond fans are rightfully perturbed that in this summer’s upcoming Skyfall, Agent 007 pushes aside his signature vodka martini, shaken not stirred, for the more lucrative Dutch beer (until they pay me $45 million, too, my agent (so secret not even I know about him) says I’m not to name the brand). C’mon, even The Hulk knows better than to order beer in green bottles because they don’t block UV light, and skunky beer makes him angry.

Speaking of Hulk, his Avengers co-star Iron Man’s obvious choice for beer-placement is Iron City. I haven’t seen Dark Shadows yet, but I suspect when Depp’s parched, he reaches for something dark yet goofy. Thirsty Dog’s Old Leghumper Robust Porter, perchance. Looking forward to pulling my spandex out of my closet and Aqua Net out of the medicine cabinet, I can’t wait for Rock of Ages to open. The ensemble cast should’ve made a cameo at Boston Beer Week and rocked a pint of Mass Appeal, the collaboration brew featuring Cambridge Brewing as one of the five contributors.

I’m afraid to hear the contrived catchphrase with which Bond will order his beer, but I suspect it’ll be strong, not silent. Had Jean Dujardin ordered a beer in The Artist, I think it’d have been something classic with an air of history. Yuengling! But none of this modern Lager stuff since the brewery was around before lagers even reached our shores. Nay, I think the right call for this silent black and white movie is the Black & Tan.

Although who am I kidding? As a new dad, my wife and I haven’t gone out to see a movie in forever. Don’t poke too much fun, but we’re gonna probably find a sitter and go see What to Expect When You’re Expecting just to see how much we relate. But my wife hasn’t given up beer; far from it. Though she’s a hop head, hearing that milder stouts are good for lactation even if it’s an old wive’s tale, she keeps the fridge stocked with them. If craft breweries can ever afford to pay for product placement, I wonder which would pony up to flash their Milk Stout in this flick.

Which movies, blockbuster or not, are you looking forward to watching this summer? And what beer do you hope that theater serves (or will you be brown-bagging)?

+ posts